MadTracker - Forum - Breaking up...

Color scheme

Profile

FAQ

Forum

Pjo2000
Registered User

Joined: 05 May 2003
Location: Australia

Posted: Wed Jul 23 2003 05:50 Breaking up...
Why the **** is breaking up so hard.? My girlfriend and I of 5 years, recently, mutually decided it was time to call it quits, and just remain as good friends.. I mean she's my best friend obviously.. but it still hurts like hell. any advice, or similar stories would be welcome. cheers
http://www.projectoverkill.com

Enonimis
Regular

Joined: 05 May 2003
Location: Canton Ohio, USA

Posted: Wed Jul 23 2003 06:31
write an album about it
If you do not agree with my opinions, you are wrong. If you do agree with my opinions you are drunk. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://elrick-enonimis.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHICAGO�lollie
Registered User

Joined: 05 May 2003

Posted: Wed Jul 23 2003 11:42
As a nice person, I would usually give advice on the matter, but as it be I have chosen to live a life without relationships. There was a school/town/basically statewide rumor that my best friend Rachel and I were going out. We let the question "Why haven't they actually done anything yet?" hang on the peoples minds for three years until we decided to speak out on the matter that it was only a rumor. Living a "no-relationships" life... It saves time, money, and no one gets hurt. Course, it leaves one with quite a boring lifestyle, but what the hey! I say, try to let the situation go and actually be best friends with her. After time, the 'wound' will heal up.

mikx
Registered User

Joined: 05 May 2003
Location: Melbourne

Posted: Wed Jul 23 2003 12:19
pjo, its a bizarreely (?) coincidental...... coincidence, that my girlfriend and i have also broken up yesterday.. i know how much it hurts, and i think for me it's the fact that she has been a loyal friend to me as i have been to her, but now she will run off and explore other men, and that i think is what's painful. you've been with her for some time and got used to the fact that you can call her your own but now that's broken.. i imagine after 5 years that pain is severely multiplied. it hurts, but then after a while it stops... mikx

Martin
Registered User

Joined: 05 May 2003
Location: Norway

Posted: Wed Jul 23 2003 16:57
Been there! Maybe it hurts breacking up because othervise it wouldn`t feel so good and worthwhile being in a relationship? What might be usefull is to have some sort of continuity in your life, and at the same time allow it to be hurtfull for a while - and not loose sight of the fact that better times will come. They really will, you know. I know cause I recently met a very nice girl. She`s pretty amazing - and I never thought I`d find a better girl than my ex. Which now seems kinda pathetic. Also I think Enonimis` suggestion was pretty good. When the shitty times come - put it down in a Distortet Madtracker Masterpiece - Martin

Inge
Man-At-Arms

Joined: 04 May 2003
Location: Nieuw Lekkerland @ Holland

Posted: Wed Jul 23 2003 18:45
I recently achieved a girlfriend. Does that make me an immoral prick in this thread? Know how it feels though, but as Saine once quoted: it's better to be depressed, than to feel nothing. Couldn't agree more. And there's always prozac. We should make a compo about that piece of synthetic joy. Should be a hybrid between deathmetal, triphop and pop. Anyone? Relation-happy, Inge
Care for a game of Monopoly?

CHICAGO�lollie
Registered User

Joined: 05 May 2003

Posted: Thu Jul 24 2003 10:46

Inge wrote:

...Saine once quoted: it's better to be depressed, than to feel nothing...

Gee, I must be emotionally numb!

QBical
Registered User

Joined: 04 May 2003
Location: Utrecht , The Netherlands

Posted: Thu Jul 24 2003 13:56
ah, women... pjo, I also was in that situation, but it's now 6 months ago or something like that, and believe me, you'll get over it. Atleast I did, she works at the same place where I work so the problem is that we keep bumping in on each other, but on the other hand you see all the bad things about the other person that you didn't see while you where in the relationship, love is blind they say... Anywayz, I just went out with my friends much, and that helped. And I wrote lots of music... Just one bit of advice though... Don't seek other women, because you'll only be wanting a substitute for your ex, and you will find nothing of the sort in other women, so you'll get hurt, and hurt someone else in the proces... grtz... Ray
PC: P4 HT 3ghz, 1gb ram, 500GB+ Storage, plextor DVD-rw, M-audo Audiophile 2496 Laptop: Apple Powerbook G4 15inch Other Stuff: Phonic MU802 mixer, Alesis M1 Active Mk2 Monitors, Ipod 2nd gen. 20GB, maxtor firewire HD 80GB

MC Project
Registered User

Joined: 06 Jul 2003
Location: The Hague

Posted: Thu Jul 24 2003 18:30 My opinion.....
OK...Here goes some advice... Music is a good thing, I agree...Put all your emotions in it... Ow...And you'll get over it, but never forget by the way.... If you want her back that much, think about what she thinks what was wrong about you...Change it if you want...Remember that you feel with your heart, but you change with your mind. You can learn yourself to walk with one leg and you can learn yourself not to give up...So imagine what you can change to yourself...It may take time, but the only thing you need is a will. And to make your will strong, you need to think of the positive consequences... If you think it was your wifes fault then you are wrong...It is never 100% someones fault. In this case it means you have to think really hard of what you have done wrong too... If you don't want her back, becuz you will regret it then you should just keep holding on and try to forget about her...This can be really hard...It is hard to get distracted from thinking about her...Try to do many things outdoor. Hang out with friends, go buy yourself something you like. Drive away into the world...xplore your city and country. Seeing new things will distract you...Go to a zoo or some park...try not to think about her...Think about the pleasure you have of doing things without her...Nobody to give things to but yourself....It may sound egocentric or something, but it will help you not lose confidence in yourself.... Well...Ths is what I think....Don't trust these things I said for 100%, but it are things that will most probably help and if not I am sorry... Ow..And I never had a girlfriend, but I am wise (not bragging)It is just that I have seen a lot of things and I know what is wrong and right. I have some flaws in my mentality, but that is life experience and it will not change till I get out of my "sickness"...I have some sort of thing that looks like psychosis :S.....Not lying either... And!!! I feel sorry for you!!! (Not in the bad way)
Sure......I am the MCP....Or just MC...Uhmmm...I make battle music...There....That is more then enough...

Pjo2000
Registered User

Joined: 05 May 2003
Location: Australia

Posted: Fri Jul 25 2003 01:22
Cheers for the advices people, What you say makes alot of sense. Although it is kinda hard to do some of the things you say, such as go out with friends etc.. because after 5 years, the only friends you do have are mutual friends, and well.. she lives with most of them, and I live 20 minutes drive away. But thats cool I have spoken to most of them and they are cool with it, and they are actually dealing with it in an amazingly mature way. Its amazing how mature your thought process becomes between the ages of 18 and 25, without even noticing, until something like this happens.. I mean shit.. if I was 19 again (when I first met her) and then this happened after say 18months I would have thrown a pysco. I guess what the hardest thing is to deal with is changing the things that you are used to. ie not being able to sleep in the same bed, no naughty stuff, and the good old female "closed of those emotions" thing. Its like one day its fine.. and then the next day ..not. like a switch has been flicked. all to fast. And also the thought of imaging her with somebody else, doing the same things you did together.. and maybe enjoying them more. But yeah.. I am putting it all down to a learning experience, and spending some time by myself to find out who I am again really... and get happy with myself.. and then.. maybe write an album and then close the book. The comfort in it all, is that it happens to everyone at some stage. hehe Cheers again for your comments, and for actually listening to my crap. pjo2000
http://www.projectoverkill.com

MC Project
Registered User

Joined: 06 Jul 2003
Location: The Hague

Posted: Fri Jul 25 2003 02:43 Adding some more of my "wisdom" lol...
Well...This is what you said... And also the thought of imaging her with somebody else, doing the same things you did together.. and maybe enjoying them more. These kinda thoughts will destroy you in the long run...Wish her the best there is...This is even harder to do...Keep in mind that nobody is worth everything...Example to clear up your mind about this one: I am not worth any respect from my little brother...He looks up to me, but I know I am not good for him...(His father doesn't live in our house and doesn't visit either) Yet I get his respect...But he doesn't like me anymore that much. I hope he sees that I am not the person he has to become like. That he must do things differently...But I am his example, so I am afraid he will... Don't take it the wrong way, cuz if you aren't worth her then she isn't worth you either...Blame yourself, but also give yourself some feedback...You could also compare "worth you" with "suited to eachother", cuz I remembered again that you discussed and broke up....The other problems is that I had to look for the expression "be suited for eachother" and I don't know how to use it So I didn't replace it....Lol This could help too...Or never mind...It is dangerous to do.. Hope I don't give wrong info Nah...Can't be...I thought about it really hard, which I actually can't.... I am dissing myself here
Sure......I am the MCP....Or just MC...Uhmmm...I make battle music...There....That is more then enough...

Reply to topic

Post new topic

Page 1 of 1

All times are GMT + 1 Hour